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'Twas The Night Before Trial

December 01, 2008

'Twas the night before trial and all through the city

 All the lawyers were working to craft something witty

 The settlement failed, once again the same song

 My case is much better, my opponent is wrong

 Time to finish the briefs, time for one final edit

 As they wonder if trials will earn CLE credit

 The jury would be nestled all snug in their chairs

 all races and genders and two with blue hairs

 The complaint, the answer, the affirmative D's,

 Were checked as were answers to Rogs/RFPs

 Exhibits were marked and prepared for admission

 And a stiff cross-exam geared for witness submission

 At a firm on LaSalle very late in the night

 Came a startling discovery, which caused quite a fright

 For what to their wondering eyes did appear,

 but a doc they had not produced timely last year

 The partner then called to associates by name

 To get to his office, now who was to blame?

 They ran like a statute which couldn't be tolled

 With nary a clue as to what would unfold

 Approaching his office they heard quite a clatter

 Thought his Starbucks had spilled, and the whip cream had splattered

 From the doc in his hand, and the look on his face

 They all knew what he held could well impact the case

 They looked to the ground, knowing not what to say

 When one zealous young lad said, "throw it away.

 This case is too big, and nobody knows,

 That this e-mail admission was never disclosed."

 The partner escorted him into the hall,

 Then down to the lobby, where they stopped by the wall

 "That is my name that you see on the sign

 I started this firm, with firm principles in mind

 Each day I walk in, I give it my best

 Try to treat others kindly, and manage the stress

 The clients come first, I am thankful for each

 Those taken for granted, can grow out of reach

 On products, on contracts, IP or PI,

 Regardless of practice, the canons apply

 As to what you suggest, about throwing it away

 Let me show you the rules, to see what they say

 Rule 3 sub point 4 makes it clearly essential

 To disclose any docs which have evidence potential

 One point two (f), has words to the same

 Do not fail to disclose or advance a false claim

 The jeopardy doubles for the partner who knows

 Of a rule being broken by a lawyer below

 For the ethical rules which give practice protection

 Extend onto those who provide legal direction

 Rule 5 says each partner shall work with due care

 To ensure rules are followed by all practicing there

 And it's not an excuse under rule 5.2

 For a lawyer to claim 'I was told what to do'

 Ignore all these rules and there's one thing I promise

 You'll get kicked in the head, by a justice named Thomas

 On top of the ethical canons you break

 Is a great reputation which is now placed at stake

 For all of those years we spent building our name

 Can be quickly forgotten with one act of shame

 For this above all is advice that is sound

 What you choose to give out, will come back around

 But what of your case that you laid on the line?

 You could be dismissed or get hit with a fine

 So when the temptation to cheat is at hand

 I appeal you re-think, reverse, and remand

 Losing a case is not cause for a crisis

 But to let a lie stand is bad stare decisis."

 The passionate partner had said more than he planned

 And asked the young lad, "Do you now understand?"

 A "yes" he expected the lawyer to utter

 But the words that came back caused the partner to shudder

 "No doubt you're correct, sir, and I'll heed your advice"

 But at this time of night, a simple 'no' would have sufficed

 The partner responded, "enough of this banter

 Tell your peers of this message and tell them instanter!"

 Away down the hall he flew like a flash

 'Twas duly admonished and kicked in the ash

 The others were waiting, on the edge of their seat

 "What did he say? You have to repeat."

 "He said follow the rules, about 500 times

 But worse than all that, he lectures in rhymes"

 But as I stood there and listened, I knew he was right

 There's more to the practice than winning a fight

 The partner walked in without saying a word

 awry smile on his face from what he just heard

 Some become famous and that's how they're driven

 But greatness is measured by what you have given

 Now take this small lesson, hold onto it tight

 From the dawn of your practice 'til you bid it good night.

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